7 and 8 week update

Apparently I decided to skip an entire week of blogging (I've been a little occupied). I'm sure no one really noticed, but I will for sure post the 7 week pic so we can see the weekly growth of our little munchkin. I can't believe 8  WHOLE weeks has gone by and I almost have a 2 month old! I know it sounds cheesy, but I remember bringing her home from the hospital and thinking, oh my goodness- this baby is so small I don't know what to do with her. I was scared out of my mind, but they are right when they say motherly instinct just kind of kicks in.

7 weeks

8 weeks old

What is a schedule?
These past 8 weeks have definitely been a journey. Finding what Riley likes and doesn't like. What her different cries mean, what her hunger and tired cues are. I've somewhat learned these things, but just when I think I've mastered it, she THROWS us for a loop. This past week I thought we were making leaps and bounds, Riley was giving us a steady 4, even 5 hour stretch of sleep at night and just when Luke and I felt like we were through with the days of sleep deprivation (aka last night) she decided to be up every 2-3 hours. I can't complain too much because usually she just eats and goes right back to bed, but it's frustrating to hear that EVERYONE ELSES BABY (or what it seems like) sleeps 6-7, even 8 hours! I can't even picture what it'll be like when she sleeps through the night. I'm sure I'd be up every couple hours checking on her. Napping is still kind of a challenge, because this girl makes it difficult to get her to sleep. There's no just setting her down and her drifting off to sleep- its a swaddle me some times, don't swaddle me others. Sometimes she wants to sleep in her bouncy chair, sometimes her basinet, sometimes on the floor. Its just a trial and error sort of thing. For those of you who say your child is on a schedule, Grrr!

We go on a lot of walks. . .

Melt my heart

We try to get out and about a lot. . . Despite how adorable she looks in this pic, the car rides typically consist of Riley screaming until she falls asleep (if she does). I swear she's the only baby who HATES the car.

How cute is this?

Loving bath time :)

New developments

There are lots and lots of smiles, but this little stinker will NOT let me capture the picture of it! She also has been cooing and it just melts my heart. She's trying to roll over, but hasn't figured out how to get her top half over, and she's now reaching with an open hand and grabbing things. Its cute because she'll often grab on to the shirts of whomever is holding her. I can't believe how quickly she's growing- I remember when I was amazed at her eyes following me. I imagine there's only so many more amazing things in store!

Other than all of this, I've developed quite a bit of anxiety about going back to work. I am scared of what I'll miss mainly. I WANT to work, but I also want to spend all day with my little baby girl. . . I'm torn! It's going to be a fast week and a half- UGH! I hate that its only a week and a half. Be strong, momma- be strong!

I will leave you all with a funny face pic to make your day a little bit brighter :)

I have a 6 week old!

I have a 6 week old. . . . 

6 weeks old

. . .and she is the cutest person in the ENTIRE world (even though she's losing her hair). 

How its going

Just when I think I have the hang of things and feel comfortable and confident, I have a sleep deprived night and fall into feeling like I'm a bad mom again. Whenever Riley whines, fusses or cries, I do everything to console her, clean diaper, feed her, more stimulation, less stimulation, try to get her to sleep, and sometimes nothing works. Those are the moments (accompanied by my sleep-deprived stupor) I feel like I'm a bad mom.  We get most of our crying fits in the car seat when I'm in no place to pull over or its only me in the car. She's usually fine if she's so tired that she can fall asleep, but otherwise, its a blood curdling scream. It breaks my heart. I have to convince myself that we can still go out and about. She's a newborn, she's still a newborn- getting acquainted with this new environment and new life outside of the warm cosiness of my tummy. It'll take a while for her to get comfortable in this new world. It gets a little better every day. 

This week has really been good because Riley has been smiling more. 

Smiling in her sleep

She really likes tummy time!

SOOO BIG!

She has also been a lot more alert lately. You can see her studying her toys, and peoples faces, being pleased when she sees a familiar face or hears a familiar voice. We like to play on her play mat while she looks around (especially at the little blue octopus) and even hits some of the dangling toys with her hands. I have yet to determine if its intentional or accidental, but its damn cute. She also slept her first stretch of 4 hours last night. I was up with her at 1:30, got her fed and back to sleep at 2:30 and at 6:30 when she fussed around, I almost threw a party! I've been trying to get her napping more frequently and regularly during the day because I've found that if she's overtired during the day,  it carries on through the night. I guess yesterday it worked. I'm not holding my breath, though, because it could've easily been a fluke.

Playing on her play mat

My AMAZING mom was nice enough to babysit on Friday night. Luke and I went out for dinner and ice cream, while Riley got some grandma time and grandma got some Riley time. She also watched her over night so Luke and I got a good nights sleep before we had to be up at 4:45am! Luke rode in the Tour de Cure Saturday morning, and biked 100 miles! We went out to Minnehaha park, watched him and cheered him on at the finish line. It was really emotional for me to see Luke accomplishing this. I was so proud of him. I handed Riley to him and snapped a pic RIGHT after her finished! 

How I'm feeling

There are a lot of emotions flowing right now. I'm so happy to have Riley in our lives, and to feel like I'm getting the hang of things, but I'm also super overly emotional about thinking about going back to work. She's 6 weeks now and I know a lot of mom's go to work after 6 weeks, but OMG she's so small and I just can't even imagine leaving her. It'll be nice that she's going to be with my family, but what if my brother decides he hates it? What if he loves it, and Riley loves him and forgets about me? What if I miss everything- all of her milestones? Although I couldn't I find myself hating being away from her. Cuddling and kissing her CONSTANTLY, and thinking about her whenever I'm away from her. One day at a time, I have to keep telling myself. People have been having children forever and wouldn't continue doing it if it wasn't worth it. 

We will make it all work. . .