Adjusting to life as a working momma

Well a lot has happened since my last blog post. . . I keep telling myself I will be more consistent, but obviously my priorities have changed a little. My baby has surpassed 9 weeks, 10 weeks and even 2 months! I've decided to just take monthly pics now. Weekly became a little excessive and I've got a lot going on right now.

2 months old!

Having a baby is an emotional roller coaster
My maternity leave is now officially over and I have been (what seems like) thrown back into the working world. The whole 'having a baby' transition has been such an emotional roller coaster. First you have the baby, and hormones rage- I think I cried every day for the first 2 weeks, and apparently this is normal?! The next 2 weeks you try to convince yourself that it has gotten a little easier and after a month, you slowly transition into what seems like normalcy. For us, that meant bringing Riley in public, doing things with our friends, and just all the things we had always done. Every week after that gets a little easier. Then after about 8 weeks, I began getting a little stir crazy- telling myself that I could NEVER stay home all day every day. 9 weeks came and then I started crying just thinking about going back; telling myself no one can care for her like I can, and being torn between what it meant to be a stay a home mom vs. a working mom. This means that I have 9 hours away from her Monday-Friday. I don't get her up in the mornings, I don't nurse her all day, I have to pump 3 times a day at work (which is more work), and worst of all, I miss the days giggles, pay time, and naps. This also means that I put on dress clothes, head off to work, have that adult interaction, and best of all, we have more money. Its a huge trade off, and unfortunately, we aren't in a situation in which we had a choice. We need that 2 incomes, not to mention I have my Masters degree and hope to some day put that fully to use! Also, words can't explain how my heart melts to come home and see her perfect little chubby face after a day away at work.

Growing baby
I can't believe my baby is now officially approaching 11 weeks old! I think back to the first couple days we had her home, holding her and telling her I couldn't believe she was already 3 days old. . . Now she's smiling, holding her head up, she's rolled over a couple times, and she has developed somewhat of a routine. The first month I had convinced myself that it would never happen. I was breast feeding on demand, she was napping whenever the hell she wanted, and sleeping whenever she wanted. In that 2 1/2 months, she's now got a bed time routine that, once finished, she is out immediately. She eats, plays and sleeps in cycles throughout the day. Takes 3-4 20 minute to hour long naps, and drinks 4-4 oz bottles while I'm gone at work. Its not perfect, but its a start! She had her 2 month check up, and we found out she weighed 11 lb 11 oz, which means she gained 5 lbs in 2 months, and was 22.75 inches. She's just growing, and kicking, and getting smarter, and stronger, and even more perfect than I ever thought she could be. The doc also said he thought she had a "clicky" hip, which meant we had to go to an orthopedic specialist and get ultrasounds. . . 3 1/2 hours later, we found that she is completely healthy and normal. Yay!!

A new kind of love
Having Riley has honestly taught me a new kind of love. A kind of love I never even knew I could feel. I still remember what I yelled right after she was born, "I love her so much, she's sooo beautiful!" Its so unbelievably true. I just am amazed by her on a daily basis; the way she studies my lips as I sing and talk to her, the way she stares at her Peek a boo Forest book, the way she flails her arms and legs when she gets so excited, the way she "planks" during tummy time and grunts, the way she pouts her lip when she's hungry or tired, the way she stares directly into my eyes and grasps my shirt when I'm feeding her, the way she gazes at the trees and flowers when we go for walks, but most of all the way she is a little piece of me and a little piece of Luke and a whole piece of perfection. Having a baby has taught me to be selfless (because she matters so so much more than me), and to not sweat the small stuff, because at the end of the day, we all have eachother!

Now for the photo bomb!

Smiley baby!

She loves lounging in her Bumbo chair

1st trip to the water park

Cuddling her monkey

All in all, I survived my 1st week back at work. After lots of anxiety, a few tears, and a nice little 4th of July break, I am proud to say I survived the hardest week. A special thanks to all my friends and family who checked in on me and showered me with words of encouragement and support. Love you all!!!