6 months, solids, and moving and grooving

I can't believe our little peanut is already over 1/2 way to her one year mark. It seems like things are just falling into place and life with a baby is just so normal and perfect. We have a routine. Daycare has really given us that. She now comes home from daycare, usually plays, eats, takes a quick nap, then plays some more for a long time, takes a bath, eats and goes to bed.

She was finally into a routine and for about 2 weeks was a sleeping angel. Up once or twice a night at most, which was just great for Luke and I. Well after her 6 month shots (Cue sad music) it ALLLLL went downhill from there. The last 2 weeks have been a routine of waking screaming about every 2 hours. She won't rock back to sleep without eating, which makes sense because in the past 2 weeks she has gotten 2 teeth and started crawling! Halloween was the first tooth, the second came a week later, and just this Monday she she took her first crawling steps. Luke and I are definitely not prepared to baby-proof our house, but we really can't wait! Its so cute to watch her go after the cats or a toy, or me. It is the sweetest thing to watch.

We did some 6 month photos, with our big girl, who is now 17 lbs, and 26 inches :)

Did I mention I am obsessed w/ our camera? These pics aren't even edited. Just wait until I figure THAT out!

So Riley has been on solids for over 2 months now. We started w/ Rice cereal, merged away from that and onto oatmeal and started with one serving a day and have moved to a fruit and oatmeal in the morning, a veggie at lunch and usually a fruit & veggie at night. I bought these neat baby food storage trays, so I just make the food for the week on Sunday and portion them out (including the 8 servings that are sent to daycare for the week). 

                                               

                                                              Mumi & Bubi baby food storage trays

Some of her favorites are pears, sweet potatoes, peas, and butternut squash. She hasn't really NOT liked anything we've given her, which is nice. I don't think she's going to be a picky eater at all. 

We've also started to wean her off of her reflux medicine, and we haven't really seen any negative side effects yet. So far so good. We are SO excited for the holidays with our little peanut! 

1/2 a year. . . tear, my baby is growing too fast!

I know, its been an eternity since I have blogged. This is due to a number of different changes in my life. First, I accepted a job at a company, was there for 2 month, and after some challenges with the schedule, adjusting, and a lack of routine in our lives I decided to go back to my old job. It was a rough 2 months as far as not really seeing Luke EVER. Sure, I got 1/2 days with Riley but we rarely had family time, and although routine is so important for her, we had nothing! I took a week off of work, got to stay home with her- which was amazing, then just under 2 weeks ago, began my NEW journey at Hanger and Riley started daycare (DUN, DUN, DUNNNN!)

So Riley turned 5 months over a month ago, and we are slowly realizing that she is not our little new born anymore.

Everything is in her mouth. It seems like she's been teething for months. She's biting everything and drooling constantly. We actually got an amber teething necklace from a wonderful family of a friend, and it seems to be working really well. She's sleeping better and a lot less fussy during the days. 

Luke and I also got eachother a new DSLR camera for our anniversary so I've taken almost 500 pics with that in a few short weeks!

How can you NOT photograph this face?!

We found a wonderful daycare provider near Luke's work and she only has a few other kids, along with a 7 1/2 month old little girl that Riley has really become buddies with. I sure was nervous for her first day of daycare, but she wasn't!

Riley's personality is really coming out now. She's smiling ALL THE TIME, laughing, babbling, and constantly moving. She's playing and interacting, loves being read to, and is trying SOO hard to crawl. She does this there where she gets up on her hands and her tip toes and lunges herself forward, flopping on her belly. She gets frustrated, but I know she's so close. Lord have mercy, we have not baby-proofed our house yet!  

Melt. . . 

We also took a surprise trip to visit my grandparents last weekend. 6 hours round trip in the car and Riley was absolutely amazing! My grandparents were so excited to see us and it was sooo nice to see them!

4 generations!

Riley pulling great grandma's hair!

Now that I'm back to normalcy, I will be back to blogging, so expect updates, and lots and lots of pics!

Cloth diapering. . . what's the big hype??

Luke and I decided before we had Riley that we were going to attempt to cloth diaper (at least part of the time) for a number of reasons. This was, yet another reason for my mom to call us granola, but a single disposable diaper sits in a landfill for over 150 years before it decomposes! Holy crap- no pun intended. We were lucky enough to get a number of different options. I snagged a few off of Little <http://littleneetchers.com/> Neetchers. On black Friday last year all their diapers were 50% off and the Econobums were buy 1 get 2 free! So that is where my cloth diaper journey began. I had a couple friends, and my sister in law holding my hand through the whole process, and my sister in law probably gave me the best advice, telling me to just try a bunch of different kinds and decide from there which ones we like. We got a few covers from her, a few as shower gifts, and a few from Luke's cousin. We decided to go with prefolds because they are the most cost effective, and the easiest to wash, because you just pull out the inside (prefold) and throw it into the wet bag. So basically this means we use a "cover" or a waterproof outer shell, that resembles a disposable diaper, but most likely with a cute little design on it, and a "prefold" which is a square piece of cloth that gets folded into 3 and placed inside the cover. This acts as the absorbant piece of fabric, and is the only part that gets changed during diaper changes (unless there is a massive blow-out).



What we have:

8 covers (Econobum, Best Bottom, Charlie Banana, Flip and another kind that I can’t remember)

6 snap in inserts (Best Bottom)

18 prefold inserts

1 Bum Genius all in one (with 2 inserts)

2 wet bags



Basically, this is enough for 24 diaper changes, which lasts a couple days. Washing is super easy- We just soak in cold water, do a hot wash with Tide, cold rinse, and dry in the dryer (or you can let them dry in the sun).



It works out really nice, because Riley is watched in our home on most days, and my mom and brother are both comfortable using cloth diapers. My brother and Luke even surprisingly said they think that the cloths are easier than disposables. I worry that if she enters daycare they will have an issue. We have, however, found that using a disposable at night is the best option, because she goes a longer period of time without a diaper change, and tends to soak through the cloth. Not only are we saving a ton of money by cloth diapering, but we are also eliminating waste by not using disposables that frequently and Riley RARELY ever has diaper rash.



It is an investment, and it is “messy” at times, but babies are messy! Plus I feel like there’s nothing cuter than a big cloth diaper butt :)

Trying to be a good momma

I think any first time mom will agree with me when I say there is too much information out there that tells you how to raise a child. You always hear people say “children never came with a handbook,” which is incredibly true, but then you have “specialists” and “professionals” out there who attempt to lump all children into a category and tell you their way is the correct way to do things:

Don’t bathe your child too much, but don’t do it too infrequently
Don’t feed on demand, but don’t try to force a schedule too early
Your child should sleep through the night by this age, your child will wake up frequently if he/she’s hungry
Don’t hold them too much because they’ll be spoiled, don’t lay them down too much or they’ll develop a flat head
They have to sleep this way, can’t sleep this way
Your child should be eating this much and this often
Don’t rock her to sleep, but don’t let her cry it out


There’s too much information out there it’ll make your brain explode trying to absorb it all. The first couple of weeks post-partum, I googled WAY too much. I was constantly looking for tips and tricks and advice on how to get Riley to sleep more, to get her on a “schedule,” to get her to cry less, etc. I was constantly searching the web and began convincing myself that I was doing something wrong as a mom. I must be because every other baby out there is doing X,Y,Z.  My husband kept telling me “stop looking on the internet.”
My feeling have drastically changed in just a few short months. What I have learned in my 3 + months as a mom, is this:

A). No 2 babies are alike
B). You can’t find ALL the answers in a book, or online
C). I know what’s best for my baby
D). There’s no such thing as a SET schedule and routine; when you have a newborn, you have to go with the flow.

Riley and I have developed both an understanding and a special relationship. I know how to sooth her  when she’s hungry, put her to sleep when she’s tired, and we’ve developed a trust that I feel like only a mother and daughter can have. I just love her so unbelievably much, and she’s worth every single minute of sleep lost J. I now know that I’m doing a good job (or at least what I think is a good job) and being the best mom that I can. I will continue to be selfless, make sacrifices, and make decisions in my life solely towards the goal of improving the life we have provided for her.

On to another adjustment

As if adjusting to a life with a 3 month old isn’t difficult enough, I’ve recently accepted a position a new company! I don’t know if you can feel my anxiety level rise, but it definitely has. I’m what people would call an organizer. I like things to be planned out. I like to lay out my work outfit the night before, prepare lunches the night before, and plan what we are having for dinner in the morning before I leave for work. If I don’t do these things (which happens frequently since having a baby), I feel like I’m creating more work for myself and always rushing around when I am home. Let’s just say-I like routine.

This new job will force me to change up my routine, be a little bit more flexible, and hopefully lighten up a bit. The hours are varied so 2 days a week I’ll work 8:30-5, 2 days I’ll work 12:30-9, and one day will be10:30-7. This means that I will have 2- ½ days during the week with Riley (and Luke will have time alone with her those nights), and one day a week, we will have a good chunk of the morning with each other. This consequently means less time she is in other people’s care, which really eases a lot of my stress about being a working momma. I’ll still be working full time, but I’ll have flexibility in my schedule.  I definitely think this will be a positive change. My parents worked alternate hours to avoid having me in daycare for my first years and I turned out just fine (hehe, some may argue otherwise). The most important thing I’ve learned with having a child is that life is too short to not do what makes you happy. This new schedule and this new job will make me happy, spending more time during the day with my peanut will make me happy, starting a “career” and not just a job will make me happy.

I can’t even begin to express what a difficult decision it was for Luke and I to decide whether or not I would pursue my Master’s degree 2 + years ago. He knew how much I really wanted to and, of course, supported me like good husbands do. Financially it didn’t seem like the BEST thing for us, but if I had unlimited funds, I think I’d be in school the rest of my life (and he knows that). I LOVE learning and growing and I would maybe get a degree in social work, or go to nursing school or PA school. But all-in-all I’m happy with my BA in Biology and my Masters in Health Care administration. My degrees will actually help me to succeed at my new employer (or at least I hope so). This is my first job post-college in which they’ve required a specific degree and have had to verify the completion of the degree prior to starting. For some reason this really makes me happy, because I was starting to think that my college education hadn’t been worth it. BUT IT HAS and I couldn’t be more excited!

. . .  Now to get my hubby a job he’s excited to go to on a daily basis.

So for now we have the remainder of this week left of the normalcy that we have already established. Then 8 days of training, and on to my NEW schedule. Wish us luck in this adjustment and let’s hope I’ve made the right decision!

Tales of a breastfeeding momma

I can remember being pregnant and taking the classes through Amma Maternity and thinking about how devastating it would be to be unable to breastfeed. I think being a mom in general is hard work so whether or not you chose to breastfeed is up to you. There are so many choices to make as a parent and I greatly respect each and every decision- this includes whether or not YOU decided to breastfeed. However, Luke and I have always been a little (what my mom likes to call) crunchy, but after taking the breastfeeding course, my need to breastfeed was confirmed. I think back to when we started the course; the instructor asked us why we all wanted to breastfeed. . . So the list began:

1.       It saves money

2.       Helps you lose weight

3.       Is good for the baby

           a.       Boost immune system

           b.      Reduces risk of diseases and allergies

4.       Helps you bond with the baby

That was the premise of the list we compiled, although our instructor gave us a list a mile long with all the benefits in detail which I wrote about in a previous post (HERE). So to us, the money savings has been completely evident. It helped that I was home for 2 ½ months, but as far as money spent, all we have spent is the money on breast milk storage bags, which has been about $30.00 total. Now that I’m pumping at work and storing more, we’re spending a bit more, maybe $10-$20/month, but that’s a HUGE savings in comparison to what we’d spend on formula. As far as weight loss goes, I have seen a HUGE change as well. When I was pregnant, I gained a total of about 17 lbs, so far I’m down 25 lbs- which makes me 8 lbs lighter than I was pre-pregnancy! Some of that may be due to the fact that I’m busy all the time and forget to eat. Being good for baby we haven’t really visibly seen, but she hasn’t been sick yet (knock on wood). Bonding- yes, yes YES! I don’t know if breastfeeding was the main contributor, but I feel like every time I’m feeding her, and being responsible for her growth and overall health, I am so connected to her and it’s the most amazing feeling in the world.

The beginning

I was lucky enough to be one of those people who had absolutely no problems. Baby latched on perfectly, my milk came in within a couple days, she gained weight, I never got any infections, so maybe I have a skewed perspective, but I am pretty sure it’s just because I’m lucky and has nothing to do with anything I DID. Besides the pain associated with the beginning stages of nursing, it was smooth sailing. Its funny though- because I was in pain the first couple weeks, I just let everything “air out” (as the nurses instructed) and I recall my mom asking, “So do you think you’ll ever wear a shirt again.” Hahaha, after childbirth, the little bit of modesty I once had, went down the drain. I think the downfall to breastfeeding in the beginning was that it felt like I was doing the majority of the work. Newborn babies simply eat and sleep, and the majority of the sleeping happened immediately following a feeding. Soo as if having a baby isn’t a big enough change to your life, my poor husband wasn’t getting much bonding time with her. That, of course, changed once she started to interact more and sleep less during the day. It was also hard to know if I was producing enough, finding ways to increase my supply so I could store more, and realizing that if I was going to solely breastfeed, that meant that middle of the night feedings were my responsibility. To me, now, those middle of the night feedings (yes, there’s an “s” on the end of that because my child is up 2-3 times a night still) are my quiet, alone time with her. It’s become special and something I treasure- although most mornings I have to peel myself out of bed.

Pumping

Here’s where the difficult part starts. . . Around 3 weeks post-partum, the nurses recommended that I start pumping after feedings in order to store enough milk to compensate for when I go back to work. After a lot of trial and error, I found that I could pump effectively 2 times a day, after the first mornings feeding, and after the last feeding of the night. Slowly but surely I started to accumulate a stock, and I was feeling like I was in a good routine. Well- of course, when you have a baby there’s no such thing as a solid routine, because once I went back to work, I had another bump in the scheduling road. Part of being able to successfully pump, is being relaxed. Now I don’t know about you, but there is nothing relaxing about being crammed into a little room with your shirt off and your coworkers just outside your room talking and KNOWING what you’re doing. I found that creating a pumping schedule helped to eliminate some of the awkward “Uhhhh- I’m going to go take a break” thing, and now I just get up and go. I made a handy red sign that I place on the door and move my chair in front of it, so even if someone mistakenly attempted to open the door, I’d be blocking it. I also now listen to music or to calm myself, and even close my eyes. I have decided that to keep my supply up and continue building a stock, I have kept my morning and evening pump sessions, as well as 3 pump sessions during the work day. 5 times a day on top of breastfeeding when my little munchkin is awake is getting to be a lot! Not to mention, my stock has become so large, that I’ve had to make 2 separate trips to store in my parents deep freezer. I now have enough stock that if I stopped pumping completely, I’d have enough for Riley to eat for at least a month while I am away at work. I think it’s time to drop a session, but—man- it hurts!


What’s to come

It has definitely been what I’m calling a journey because there are ups and downs, at times I feel like it’s so inconvenient to be pumping all the time, storing, and cleaning parts, but at other times (more so in the middle of the night) I feel like it’s so convenient to not have to make a bottle to feed her. My goal was to breastfeed for 6 months- a year, and I think that since I’ve made it this far, it’s completely do-able. Before we know it, Riley will be starting solids, and she’ll nurse less and less (Sad face- she’s getting so big already).  I’m happy to know that this has been something that we have made work for our family and for us the positives heavily outweigh the negatives!

OMG, I have a 3 month old

Holy crap! Last Monday was quite a day for me. Riley's birthday (well sort of) I came to the realization that my little baby is growing so fast, and I feel like I just blinked and the last 3 months flew by.

Here's a little 3 month photo shoot we did at home. Hopefully after a purchase of a new camera, our photo quality will greatly improve.

                                               

                                        

I am now fully into working mommy mode. The days fly by at work (some days are slow) but I rush home to see my little munchkins smiling face and immediately kiss those chubby cheeks. Luke gets home earlier than I do so he's usually already playing with her, singing to her, or doing yard work with her (she loves it outside). It's so fun to see the way she smiles and recognizes not only voices, but now faces. She's getting so strong! She's been holding her head up since I can remember bringing her home, and she started rolling from tummy to back, and on Monday completed her first back to tummy roll. Now that she realizes she can do this she's rolling around all over the place. Her favorite is naked roll arounds before bath time :). She went through a little stint this week of deciding she didn't want to sleep at night (which I assume was due to a growth spurt). She was up almost every 2 hours from Saturday until last night where she did a good 6 hour stretch! Woohoo! I chalk it up to the fact that she was fueling up to learn how to roll. Now that's she's mastered it, I hope to God she will sleep a little better. Momma can't function on 4 hours of sleep. I felt like a zombie walking the earth. BUT- I'm all rested up and had a really good day today. Wednesdays are good days because I know I've made it already 1/2 way through the week and I know that I have ALLLL weekend long to play with her and kiss her. The good part about the weekends is that we tend to stay busy and do lots, but the downside is that they go really fast. I'm sure any working mom can attest to that.

Riley has started getting better in the car. And by better- I mean she now usually will fall asleep after the cries for a certain period of time. She has become more content, but she just really doesn't like being in there.

                                             

Our angel sleeping in her carseat

LOVING her Bumbo chair

The childcare situation was probably what I was most afraid of with the whole going back to work thing. My mom watches her Monday, my brother watches her Tues-Thurs, and my friend watches her Friday. My mom loves her Monday's with Riley and I can tell how much Riley loves her too. Lots of playing and doing fun things. This Monday my mom surprised me with a pic of Riley in a cute little swimming suit and a sun hat in a little swimming pool she had just bought her. Ummmm ADORABLE! My brother was probably the thing I was most anxious about. Mainly because I knew what a big responsibility it is to watch a baby and he was so nonchalant about it. Needless to say, he realized very quickly what a big task it is, and let me tell you- he is AMAZING with her. It melts my heart to see the way he interacts with her, plays with her, feeds her, and loves her. My friend who watches her Friday is SOOOO good with her and they are always doing fun things! She has a super nice camera so she's always doing photo shoots and dressing her up and playing with her. Here's some of the pics from one of her photo shoots:

All in all, being a mother is the most amazing feeling in the world. Seeing this amazing little human that is 1/2 me and 1/2 my husband, that I grew in my tummy is the best feeling in the world. She's getting so big and so smart and so strong, that I can't even remember how tiny she was. Its such a big life changer, but it has come to the point where Luke and I admit that we can't even remember what our life was like before Riley. I see her smile and feel like nothing else matters. I'm having so much fun watching her grow and develop a personality. I see the way she is content just looking around and hanging out- and the way she is over dramatic and whiney when she's tired (like her mom). 

I promise I'll be better about blogging from here on out. Lots of exciting things happening in our future :)

Adjusting to life as a working momma

Well a lot has happened since my last blog post. . . I keep telling myself I will be more consistent, but obviously my priorities have changed a little. My baby has surpassed 9 weeks, 10 weeks and even 2 months! I've decided to just take monthly pics now. Weekly became a little excessive and I've got a lot going on right now.

2 months old!

Having a baby is an emotional roller coaster
My maternity leave is now officially over and I have been (what seems like) thrown back into the working world. The whole 'having a baby' transition has been such an emotional roller coaster. First you have the baby, and hormones rage- I think I cried every day for the first 2 weeks, and apparently this is normal?! The next 2 weeks you try to convince yourself that it has gotten a little easier and after a month, you slowly transition into what seems like normalcy. For us, that meant bringing Riley in public, doing things with our friends, and just all the things we had always done. Every week after that gets a little easier. Then after about 8 weeks, I began getting a little stir crazy- telling myself that I could NEVER stay home all day every day. 9 weeks came and then I started crying just thinking about going back; telling myself no one can care for her like I can, and being torn between what it meant to be a stay a home mom vs. a working mom. This means that I have 9 hours away from her Monday-Friday. I don't get her up in the mornings, I don't nurse her all day, I have to pump 3 times a day at work (which is more work), and worst of all, I miss the days giggles, pay time, and naps. This also means that I put on dress clothes, head off to work, have that adult interaction, and best of all, we have more money. Its a huge trade off, and unfortunately, we aren't in a situation in which we had a choice. We need that 2 incomes, not to mention I have my Masters degree and hope to some day put that fully to use! Also, words can't explain how my heart melts to come home and see her perfect little chubby face after a day away at work.

Growing baby
I can't believe my baby is now officially approaching 11 weeks old! I think back to the first couple days we had her home, holding her and telling her I couldn't believe she was already 3 days old. . . Now she's smiling, holding her head up, she's rolled over a couple times, and she has developed somewhat of a routine. The first month I had convinced myself that it would never happen. I was breast feeding on demand, she was napping whenever the hell she wanted, and sleeping whenever she wanted. In that 2 1/2 months, she's now got a bed time routine that, once finished, she is out immediately. She eats, plays and sleeps in cycles throughout the day. Takes 3-4 20 minute to hour long naps, and drinks 4-4 oz bottles while I'm gone at work. Its not perfect, but its a start! She had her 2 month check up, and we found out she weighed 11 lb 11 oz, which means she gained 5 lbs in 2 months, and was 22.75 inches. She's just growing, and kicking, and getting smarter, and stronger, and even more perfect than I ever thought she could be. The doc also said he thought she had a "clicky" hip, which meant we had to go to an orthopedic specialist and get ultrasounds. . . 3 1/2 hours later, we found that she is completely healthy and normal. Yay!!

A new kind of love
Having Riley has honestly taught me a new kind of love. A kind of love I never even knew I could feel. I still remember what I yelled right after she was born, "I love her so much, she's sooo beautiful!" Its so unbelievably true. I just am amazed by her on a daily basis; the way she studies my lips as I sing and talk to her, the way she stares at her Peek a boo Forest book, the way she flails her arms and legs when she gets so excited, the way she "planks" during tummy time and grunts, the way she pouts her lip when she's hungry or tired, the way she stares directly into my eyes and grasps my shirt when I'm feeding her, the way she gazes at the trees and flowers when we go for walks, but most of all the way she is a little piece of me and a little piece of Luke and a whole piece of perfection. Having a baby has taught me to be selfless (because she matters so so much more than me), and to not sweat the small stuff, because at the end of the day, we all have eachother!

Now for the photo bomb!

Smiley baby!

She loves lounging in her Bumbo chair

1st trip to the water park

Cuddling her monkey

All in all, I survived my 1st week back at work. After lots of anxiety, a few tears, and a nice little 4th of July break, I am proud to say I survived the hardest week. A special thanks to all my friends and family who checked in on me and showered me with words of encouragement and support. Love you all!!!

7 and 8 week update

Apparently I decided to skip an entire week of blogging (I've been a little occupied). I'm sure no one really noticed, but I will for sure post the 7 week pic so we can see the weekly growth of our little munchkin. I can't believe 8  WHOLE weeks has gone by and I almost have a 2 month old! I know it sounds cheesy, but I remember bringing her home from the hospital and thinking, oh my goodness- this baby is so small I don't know what to do with her. I was scared out of my mind, but they are right when they say motherly instinct just kind of kicks in.

7 weeks

8 weeks old

What is a schedule?
These past 8 weeks have definitely been a journey. Finding what Riley likes and doesn't like. What her different cries mean, what her hunger and tired cues are. I've somewhat learned these things, but just when I think I've mastered it, she THROWS us for a loop. This past week I thought we were making leaps and bounds, Riley was giving us a steady 4, even 5 hour stretch of sleep at night and just when Luke and I felt like we were through with the days of sleep deprivation (aka last night) she decided to be up every 2-3 hours. I can't complain too much because usually she just eats and goes right back to bed, but it's frustrating to hear that EVERYONE ELSES BABY (or what it seems like) sleeps 6-7, even 8 hours! I can't even picture what it'll be like when she sleeps through the night. I'm sure I'd be up every couple hours checking on her. Napping is still kind of a challenge, because this girl makes it difficult to get her to sleep. There's no just setting her down and her drifting off to sleep- its a swaddle me some times, don't swaddle me others. Sometimes she wants to sleep in her bouncy chair, sometimes her basinet, sometimes on the floor. Its just a trial and error sort of thing. For those of you who say your child is on a schedule, Grrr!

We go on a lot of walks. . .

Melt my heart

We try to get out and about a lot. . . Despite how adorable she looks in this pic, the car rides typically consist of Riley screaming until she falls asleep (if she does). I swear she's the only baby who HATES the car.

How cute is this?

Loving bath time :)

New developments

There are lots and lots of smiles, but this little stinker will NOT let me capture the picture of it! She also has been cooing and it just melts my heart. She's trying to roll over, but hasn't figured out how to get her top half over, and she's now reaching with an open hand and grabbing things. Its cute because she'll often grab on to the shirts of whomever is holding her. I can't believe how quickly she's growing- I remember when I was amazed at her eyes following me. I imagine there's only so many more amazing things in store!

Other than all of this, I've developed quite a bit of anxiety about going back to work. I am scared of what I'll miss mainly. I WANT to work, but I also want to spend all day with my little baby girl. . . I'm torn! It's going to be a fast week and a half- UGH! I hate that its only a week and a half. Be strong, momma- be strong!

I will leave you all with a funny face pic to make your day a little bit brighter :)

I have a 6 week old!

I have a 6 week old. . . . 

6 weeks old

. . .and she is the cutest person in the ENTIRE world (even though she's losing her hair). 

How its going

Just when I think I have the hang of things and feel comfortable and confident, I have a sleep deprived night and fall into feeling like I'm a bad mom again. Whenever Riley whines, fusses or cries, I do everything to console her, clean diaper, feed her, more stimulation, less stimulation, try to get her to sleep, and sometimes nothing works. Those are the moments (accompanied by my sleep-deprived stupor) I feel like I'm a bad mom.  We get most of our crying fits in the car seat when I'm in no place to pull over or its only me in the car. She's usually fine if she's so tired that she can fall asleep, but otherwise, its a blood curdling scream. It breaks my heart. I have to convince myself that we can still go out and about. She's a newborn, she's still a newborn- getting acquainted with this new environment and new life outside of the warm cosiness of my tummy. It'll take a while for her to get comfortable in this new world. It gets a little better every day. 

This week has really been good because Riley has been smiling more. 

Smiling in her sleep

She really likes tummy time!

SOOO BIG!

She has also been a lot more alert lately. You can see her studying her toys, and peoples faces, being pleased when she sees a familiar face or hears a familiar voice. We like to play on her play mat while she looks around (especially at the little blue octopus) and even hits some of the dangling toys with her hands. I have yet to determine if its intentional or accidental, but its damn cute. She also slept her first stretch of 4 hours last night. I was up with her at 1:30, got her fed and back to sleep at 2:30 and at 6:30 when she fussed around, I almost threw a party! I've been trying to get her napping more frequently and regularly during the day because I've found that if she's overtired during the day,  it carries on through the night. I guess yesterday it worked. I'm not holding my breath, though, because it could've easily been a fluke.

Playing on her play mat

My AMAZING mom was nice enough to babysit on Friday night. Luke and I went out for dinner and ice cream, while Riley got some grandma time and grandma got some Riley time. She also watched her over night so Luke and I got a good nights sleep before we had to be up at 4:45am! Luke rode in the Tour de Cure Saturday morning, and biked 100 miles! We went out to Minnehaha park, watched him and cheered him on at the finish line. It was really emotional for me to see Luke accomplishing this. I was so proud of him. I handed Riley to him and snapped a pic RIGHT after her finished! 

How I'm feeling

There are a lot of emotions flowing right now. I'm so happy to have Riley in our lives, and to feel like I'm getting the hang of things, but I'm also super overly emotional about thinking about going back to work. She's 6 weeks now and I know a lot of mom's go to work after 6 weeks, but OMG she's so small and I just can't even imagine leaving her. It'll be nice that she's going to be with my family, but what if my brother decides he hates it? What if he loves it, and Riley loves him and forgets about me? What if I miss everything- all of her milestones? Although I couldn't I find myself hating being away from her. Cuddling and kissing her CONSTANTLY, and thinking about her whenever I'm away from her. One day at a time, I have to keep telling myself. People have been having children forever and wouldn't continue doing it if it wasn't worth it. 

We will make it all work. . . 

5 week update

Another week has FLOWN by, which means our little peanut is an entire week older now: 5 weeks old! I'm now officially 1/2 way done with my maternity leave and while it seems like I've gotten so much accomplished and I feel like I've finally established some normalcy in my life with a child, it seems like 10 weeks is just not long enough. I am just so madly in love with this baby that I don't want to stop looking at her for 5 minutes. Mainly because she's constantly changing, and growing. It seems like every day I see her she gets a little bit bigger, a little more alert, a little stronger, and she holds her head up a little bit longer.

5 weeks old!

Look how much she has changed since week 1:

Let's just say she sure is filling out. I think last time I counted there were 4 rolls on the legs :)

I've also come to the realization (and it makes me feel like a bad mom, kind of) that I could never be a stay at home mom. It's weird because I thought for sure the feeling would be so strong after I had my little girl in my arms, and don't get me wrong-I want to be with her ALL the time, but I just don't know if I could stay home ALL DAY LONG. I miss adult interaction, I miss put on my dress clothes, and leaving the house. All you stay at home momma's out there, I give you lots of credit because it is a hard job!

This weekend was a good one. We were spoiled, because with the long weekend, we had an extra day with Luke and he was SO MUCH HELP! Its really heartwarming to see how Riley now recognizes his face and voice and gets into little spells where she just stares at him in amazement. He can also get her to smile, but of course I'm too slow on the camera to capture it. Pretty soon, though!

Friday night we walked up to Freestyle Yogurt with some friends, had some frozen yogurt, had some tacos, and came back here to hang out. It was so nice to spend time with friends and drink a beer and not feel confined to our house.  Saturday, we met up with my parents, Luke's parents, and Luke's sisters family at Como Zoo. It wasn't the nicest day (we got drizzled on quite a bit) but we got lots of walking in and got to see the monkeys, which are my personal favorite! We then went out to dinner, which was delicious!

Grandma's admiring Riley at Como Zoo

Sunday morning, my friend from high school stopped by to visit. She had only met Riley a short while, so she brought us breakfast and held her, then we headed off to Riley's first Twins game. You can't see this in the pic, but my mom got her an adorable little Twins outfit :)

 Cuddling with Gina

Monday, we headed to Luke's sisters for a memorial day BBQ. We ate some good food, chatted, and everyone get their baby fix. It was a very fun-filled and packed weekend, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm hoping that this weekend we can get cracking on our garden (I know we are extremely late to the party). Luke has his Tour de Cure bike race on Saturday morning, so we will be there to cheer him on as he bikes 100 miles! 

Memorial Day outfit

So here we are, over 5 weeks post partum and loving out little peanut more than life itself. Seeing the way she looks at Luke, and even better how Luke looks at her just melts my heart. I still can't believe our duo has become a trio and we are officially a family. I am so happy to be a mom- it is honestly the most amazing thing in the world.