7 and 8 week update

Apparently I decided to skip an entire week of blogging (I've been a little occupied). I'm sure no one really noticed, but I will for sure post the 7 week pic so we can see the weekly growth of our little munchkin. I can't believe 8  WHOLE weeks has gone by and I almost have a 2 month old! I know it sounds cheesy, but I remember bringing her home from the hospital and thinking, oh my goodness- this baby is so small I don't know what to do with her. I was scared out of my mind, but they are right when they say motherly instinct just kind of kicks in.

7 weeks

8 weeks old

What is a schedule?
These past 8 weeks have definitely been a journey. Finding what Riley likes and doesn't like. What her different cries mean, what her hunger and tired cues are. I've somewhat learned these things, but just when I think I've mastered it, she THROWS us for a loop. This past week I thought we were making leaps and bounds, Riley was giving us a steady 4, even 5 hour stretch of sleep at night and just when Luke and I felt like we were through with the days of sleep deprivation (aka last night) she decided to be up every 2-3 hours. I can't complain too much because usually she just eats and goes right back to bed, but it's frustrating to hear that EVERYONE ELSES BABY (or what it seems like) sleeps 6-7, even 8 hours! I can't even picture what it'll be like when she sleeps through the night. I'm sure I'd be up every couple hours checking on her. Napping is still kind of a challenge, because this girl makes it difficult to get her to sleep. There's no just setting her down and her drifting off to sleep- its a swaddle me some times, don't swaddle me others. Sometimes she wants to sleep in her bouncy chair, sometimes her basinet, sometimes on the floor. Its just a trial and error sort of thing. For those of you who say your child is on a schedule, Grrr!

We go on a lot of walks. . .

Melt my heart

We try to get out and about a lot. . . Despite how adorable she looks in this pic, the car rides typically consist of Riley screaming until she falls asleep (if she does). I swear she's the only baby who HATES the car.

How cute is this?

Loving bath time :)

New developments

There are lots and lots of smiles, but this little stinker will NOT let me capture the picture of it! She also has been cooing and it just melts my heart. She's trying to roll over, but hasn't figured out how to get her top half over, and she's now reaching with an open hand and grabbing things. Its cute because she'll often grab on to the shirts of whomever is holding her. I can't believe how quickly she's growing- I remember when I was amazed at her eyes following me. I imagine there's only so many more amazing things in store!

Other than all of this, I've developed quite a bit of anxiety about going back to work. I am scared of what I'll miss mainly. I WANT to work, but I also want to spend all day with my little baby girl. . . I'm torn! It's going to be a fast week and a half- UGH! I hate that its only a week and a half. Be strong, momma- be strong!

I will leave you all with a funny face pic to make your day a little bit brighter :)

I have a 6 week old!

I have a 6 week old. . . . 

6 weeks old

. . .and she is the cutest person in the ENTIRE world (even though she's losing her hair). 

How its going

Just when I think I have the hang of things and feel comfortable and confident, I have a sleep deprived night and fall into feeling like I'm a bad mom again. Whenever Riley whines, fusses or cries, I do everything to console her, clean diaper, feed her, more stimulation, less stimulation, try to get her to sleep, and sometimes nothing works. Those are the moments (accompanied by my sleep-deprived stupor) I feel like I'm a bad mom.  We get most of our crying fits in the car seat when I'm in no place to pull over or its only me in the car. She's usually fine if she's so tired that she can fall asleep, but otherwise, its a blood curdling scream. It breaks my heart. I have to convince myself that we can still go out and about. She's a newborn, she's still a newborn- getting acquainted with this new environment and new life outside of the warm cosiness of my tummy. It'll take a while for her to get comfortable in this new world. It gets a little better every day. 

This week has really been good because Riley has been smiling more. 

Smiling in her sleep

She really likes tummy time!

SOOO BIG!

She has also been a lot more alert lately. You can see her studying her toys, and peoples faces, being pleased when she sees a familiar face or hears a familiar voice. We like to play on her play mat while she looks around (especially at the little blue octopus) and even hits some of the dangling toys with her hands. I have yet to determine if its intentional or accidental, but its damn cute. She also slept her first stretch of 4 hours last night. I was up with her at 1:30, got her fed and back to sleep at 2:30 and at 6:30 when she fussed around, I almost threw a party! I've been trying to get her napping more frequently and regularly during the day because I've found that if she's overtired during the day,  it carries on through the night. I guess yesterday it worked. I'm not holding my breath, though, because it could've easily been a fluke.

Playing on her play mat

My AMAZING mom was nice enough to babysit on Friday night. Luke and I went out for dinner and ice cream, while Riley got some grandma time and grandma got some Riley time. She also watched her over night so Luke and I got a good nights sleep before we had to be up at 4:45am! Luke rode in the Tour de Cure Saturday morning, and biked 100 miles! We went out to Minnehaha park, watched him and cheered him on at the finish line. It was really emotional for me to see Luke accomplishing this. I was so proud of him. I handed Riley to him and snapped a pic RIGHT after her finished! 

How I'm feeling

There are a lot of emotions flowing right now. I'm so happy to have Riley in our lives, and to feel like I'm getting the hang of things, but I'm also super overly emotional about thinking about going back to work. She's 6 weeks now and I know a lot of mom's go to work after 6 weeks, but OMG she's so small and I just can't even imagine leaving her. It'll be nice that she's going to be with my family, but what if my brother decides he hates it? What if he loves it, and Riley loves him and forgets about me? What if I miss everything- all of her milestones? Although I couldn't I find myself hating being away from her. Cuddling and kissing her CONSTANTLY, and thinking about her whenever I'm away from her. One day at a time, I have to keep telling myself. People have been having children forever and wouldn't continue doing it if it wasn't worth it. 

We will make it all work. . . 

5 week update

Another week has FLOWN by, which means our little peanut is an entire week older now: 5 weeks old! I'm now officially 1/2 way done with my maternity leave and while it seems like I've gotten so much accomplished and I feel like I've finally established some normalcy in my life with a child, it seems like 10 weeks is just not long enough. I am just so madly in love with this baby that I don't want to stop looking at her for 5 minutes. Mainly because she's constantly changing, and growing. It seems like every day I see her she gets a little bit bigger, a little more alert, a little stronger, and she holds her head up a little bit longer.

5 weeks old!

Look how much she has changed since week 1:

Let's just say she sure is filling out. I think last time I counted there were 4 rolls on the legs :)

I've also come to the realization (and it makes me feel like a bad mom, kind of) that I could never be a stay at home mom. It's weird because I thought for sure the feeling would be so strong after I had my little girl in my arms, and don't get me wrong-I want to be with her ALL the time, but I just don't know if I could stay home ALL DAY LONG. I miss adult interaction, I miss put on my dress clothes, and leaving the house. All you stay at home momma's out there, I give you lots of credit because it is a hard job!

This weekend was a good one. We were spoiled, because with the long weekend, we had an extra day with Luke and he was SO MUCH HELP! Its really heartwarming to see how Riley now recognizes his face and voice and gets into little spells where she just stares at him in amazement. He can also get her to smile, but of course I'm too slow on the camera to capture it. Pretty soon, though!

Friday night we walked up to Freestyle Yogurt with some friends, had some frozen yogurt, had some tacos, and came back here to hang out. It was so nice to spend time with friends and drink a beer and not feel confined to our house.  Saturday, we met up with my parents, Luke's parents, and Luke's sisters family at Como Zoo. It wasn't the nicest day (we got drizzled on quite a bit) but we got lots of walking in and got to see the monkeys, which are my personal favorite! We then went out to dinner, which was delicious!

Grandma's admiring Riley at Como Zoo

Sunday morning, my friend from high school stopped by to visit. She had only met Riley a short while, so she brought us breakfast and held her, then we headed off to Riley's first Twins game. You can't see this in the pic, but my mom got her an adorable little Twins outfit :)

 Cuddling with Gina

Monday, we headed to Luke's sisters for a memorial day BBQ. We ate some good food, chatted, and everyone get their baby fix. It was a very fun-filled and packed weekend, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm hoping that this weekend we can get cracking on our garden (I know we are extremely late to the party). Luke has his Tour de Cure bike race on Saturday morning, so we will be there to cheer him on as he bikes 100 miles! 

Memorial Day outfit

So here we are, over 5 weeks post partum and loving out little peanut more than life itself. Seeing the way she looks at Luke, and even better how Luke looks at her just melts my heart. I still can't believe our duo has become a trio and we are officially a family. I am so happy to be a mom- it is honestly the most amazing thing in the world. 

One month update

Ok. . .  I am sure every new mother says this, but wow does time fly by. It seems like just yesterday we were scared out of our minds bringing home our new baby girl. Now, she's officially a month old and I'm trying to remember where all the time has gone. 

To me, its miraculous how my life has changed and what I've learned by having a baby. I've learned patience (ohhh so much patience) because without it, we would have never survived those middle of the night feedings and fussing fests that have happened. I've learned how amazing biology is (which those of you who know me, know I have a fond appreciation for biology, because that was my major in college). But in all honesty, I was amazed that Luke and I could make something so perfect, but now as I watch her grow, I am amazed at how quickly her body is changing, how she's growing, and transforming into a mini person. Most importantly, I have learned a new kind of love. I love my family, I love Luke's family, I love Luke and I love my friends, but the kind of love I have for Riley is indescribable. She relies on me for EVERYTHING and knowing that she needs me so so much, makes me realize how much I need her, too. I just can't seem to give her enough kisses or cuddles in a day. 

So here's our little peanut at 4 weeks old (which is different from one month):

She's weighing in at over 8 1/2 lbs, and she's about 20 inches long. She is growing on a daily basis, which comforts me, because I didn't think I'd make it through the growth spurts. For those of you who aren't aware what a delight newborn growth spurts are, it consists of constant nursing (which the babies do to increase your milk supply), fussing, and NO SLEEPING! This last growth spurt, which just ended, lasted 2 days, and it was 2 days of me being glued to my couch, with Riley being glued to me. I could tell it was finished when she slept 2 stretches of 3-3 1/2 hours last night. THANK THE LORD, I'm a human again!

Last week 

Last week was a good one. We had a busy, busy weekend that started with meeting Luke's parents, sister and her son for lunch. We then went to the mall, and Riley was spoiled with lots of cuddles.

 Riley and Grandpa

 Riley and her cousin, Tryg

Aunt Josie!

After coming home, I had about an hour to get ready for my friends Jessie & Jake's grooms dinner. Horray for their wedding weekend! I headed to the rehearsal, and Luke brought Riley to my parents. We were away from her for about 2.5 hours, and it was good practice for the wedding day on Saturday. Saturday I was gone all day, and although I was having so much fun, not a second went by that I didn't think of my baby girl. We were lucky enough to have my parents bring her up to the wedding dance so we could see her (and show her off), but saying goodbye again was hard. . . yes- I cried! But we ended up dancing the night away, and it was almost like a date night out for the hubby and I. It was good for us, and we had a BLAST!

BABY SHOWER

Sunday, we had a baby shower, hosted by 2 of my wonderful aunts and food made by my lovely Grandma Bartolo. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people! Best of all, Riley got to meet/see BOTH sets of her great grandparents. Not many children are able to say that they've done that. My mom's parents (and aunt) traveled 3+ hours to get here and seeing them hold her brought tears to my eyes. It really is fun to have a shower after the baby is born, because then everyone gets their baby fix. Special thanks to my aunts for making it all happen :) pics to come soon.

What it means to have a one month old. . .

Having a one month old has definitely changed my life, my relationship with my husband, and the way I look at absolutely everything in life. It means that there are days when I don't have time to brush my teeth or get out of my pajamas because I'm catering to my baby's needs. It means that I no longer remember what a "good nights sleep" is, it means I have to be completely selfless (which is a great trait to have), and it also means that my husband and I are now responsible for another life. Making sure we teach her to be a good person, because eventually she's going to be right where I am in life (hopefully), wishing the same upon her children. 

Happy 1 month birthday to my little Riley Hope, mom and dad love you so so much!

She is fist pumping in celebration. 

3 weeks post-partum

I can not believe how fast time is flying by! Riley is officially 3 weeks old today and changing and growing on a daily basis. She's finally pushing 8 lbs. And by that I mean probably around 7 lb 10 oz or so, but when Luke came home from work today he swore she grew a couple inches and gained a couple ounces.

3 weeks old 

Caring for a newborn is getting easier and easier every day. Or should I say less and less difficult- it is absolutely not EASY! I'm now on my 2nd week on my own during the day and Riley and I are now getting into somewhat of a routine. We usually wake up when Luke wakes up (around 7:00am) and then are up until he leaves, then Riley eats and has a morning nap until around 9 or 10. We then get up and I get her ready (I apparently don't feel the need to get ready anymore). I try to get myself a cup of coffee, breakfast and chug a liter of water. Riley is usually ready to eat again, so we do that and she is then pretty awake and alert for a while. We then sing, listen to music, talk, play with toys, and read books, and the eating and sleeping schedule repeats itself. It is hard because her schedule is so inconsistent but I have to remind myself that I'm not on maternity leave to clean my house during the day and get a ton done, I'm home to take care of my baby, and if that means I'm glued to my couch, because she is cluster feeding, then so be it! I find myself just looking at her all the time because I am so amazed at how beautiful she is. Her little eyes, nose, fingers- I just can't believe we made her! Its a love I can not even explain in words. 

I have been getting out of the house, though. It's getting less scary to take her out on my own. Last week, we went to visit Luke at work and that was a ton of fun! We ran a couple of errands before hand, then went to visit dad! It was adorable to see Luke show her off to all of his co-workers. He was just so proud, and when we left he was just beaming. She does really well in the car, for the most part, and I assume it will only get better if we continue taking her out!

This was a crazy weekend for us, and this weekend will be crazy, too! Saturday, I did the unthinkable, and left my baby to go to one of my best friend's bachelorette parties. I absolutely wouldn't have missed it for the world- so that meant Luke was on daddy duty all day. He ended up taking Riley to his brother's house for a birthday party/mother's day celebration around 2:00pm and I didn't get home until about 12:30am Sunday. I cried and cried when they left, but I did it (although I felt like a bad mom).  I really had nothing to worry about because Luke did a great job with her! I got home and immediately wanted to wake her up and kiss her and play with her, but I didn't. She ended up sleeping over 4 1/2 hours. 

Sunday, which was my first Mothers Day, our family did the Susan G Koman 5K Walk for the Cure. We had a huge team for my momma, and we were up at 7:00am ready to celebrate all the breast cancer survivors out there. 

The walk was great and it was very emotional- seeing all the survivors. One lady was a 40 year survivor! Awesome. After the walk, all the survivors went into the rotunda at the MOA and stood in their pink shirts. It was like you looked down and saw these people and knew that every single one of them had been through the emotional roller coaster that my mom had. They were all different ages and backgrounds, but all had something so significant in common.

Riley did a great job in her stroller, being held, and being just absolutely adorable. She even slept Sunday night! Since it was a long event, we had to bottle feed her during the walk, and I had to nurse her at the MOA. Its miraculous how it all just seems so normal now. I'm not really scared anymore (thanks to my nursing cover)!

Also, I got the perfect Mommas day present from Riley (and Luke of course)- this adorable ring that says "Mom" on it, and a gorgeous 3 stone necklace.

Here's another pic of my gorgeous girl

So a Happy 3 Week Birthday to my little princess, I still can't believe she's really here (although it seems like she's been here forever) Tonight, as she napped, I just stared at her in complete awe at how amazing she is. Luke and I also watched the video of her birth tonight. I was a complete mess watching it, because there's so much I don't remember. It truly is a miracle (and I don't care how cheesy that sounds!)

I have a 2 week old!

Oh my gosh- it seems so weird to say I have a baby that is now over 2 weeks old! It seems miraculous because it seems like just yesterday when I was waddling around with a huge pregnant belly, unable to tie my shoes or get up off the couch. Now I see our little peanut and remind myself what an absolute miracle it is. I hold her and kiss her and examine her on a daily basis just in complete awe at how fast she is growing. She is definitely not the new born we brought home from the hospital. She's changing so much I feel like I don't have time to blink!

2 weeks old

Luke is now officially back at work, which means I am home alone with the baby. Ummm talk about anxiety. I was so emotional about it, but I'm glad it finally happened. Now I can stop stressing about the not knowing how its going to be. Monday was supposed to be my first day, but my wonderful mother kept me company so it wasn't really like I was alone at all. She helped so I could get ready in the morning after I got Riley ready, she came with me as we ventured to the mall and out for lunch, and of course, I cried when she left, because I knew that meant that I was all on my own. That means today is my official first day alone, and after a sleepless night, I got up feeling terrible. After a cup of coffee (from my new Keurig!) and some breakfast I looked at Riley and immediately remembered how and why I can do this. You can sleep when you're dead, isn't that what they say? I have found how little sleep I can function off of, and although I may not be the most pleasant person to be around when I'm sleep deprived, I can still care for my baby and be a functional human (for the most part). 

Venturing out and about

Luke and I always told ourselves that having a child would not force us to be hermits. We both agreed that if/when we had a child, we would still be social and fun and get out of the house! This is probably why at 6 days old we did what felt like the scariest thing ever and brought our baby out to a surprise 50th anniversary party for my grandparents. I was a ball of anxiety, but Riley did great and it was my first time nursing in public. It was scary and I struggled a little, but I did it! Last Saturday, we also had a big day. We were out and about ALL DAY LONG. We went to Hyland Park Reserve in Bloomington with my in laws, out to lunch, and out to visit a friend. We came home and boy was I exhausted, but it was so nice to feel like we had established some sort of normalcy in our lives. I think that's the hardest thing for me- wondering when my life is going to be "normal" again. Will it ever be normal again? When will I be able to leave the house without feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack? I assume it gets easier. That's what every mom that I've been seeking out tells me. You WILL cry, you WILL stress, but it DOES get easier. I just have to realize that I am out of control, and I do what the baby needs me to do for her. That is my only job right now- give her what she needs.

 All ready to go in my car seat

 Cuddling with grandma and her cousin, Trygg

Meeting Luke's friend!

Sunday was also a milestone for us, because I had organized a volunteer event with my work so I had to leave WITHOUT THE BABY from 7-11am. This meant I had to be up at 5:45, feed the baby, pump, get ready, and go! I was so so so nervous- Luke had to get her ready, feed her a bottle if she was hungry, and then they came to Minnehaha Falls to visit and walk around. All in all, it turned out great! She took her first bottle really well (and it didn't effect her latch at all), Luke got her ready just fine, and she was so good! Its amazing how much this little girl has done in her 2 weeks on this earth, but I think we are setting the tone for a wonderful life, full of friends, family, and fun. 

Growing, growing, growing

At 2 weeks old, Riley is definitely growing. I can tell that her little face is filling out, and she has some leg rolls and a little tummy now. Its weird to think that although she's gained over a lb (she's almost 8 lbs now!) she's still much smaller than a lot of newborns. I'm thinking she's going through a growth spurt right now (which is apparently common at 2 weeks) because she has been eating NON-STOP all day, and when she hasn't been eating, she's been fussing and crying. I'm convinced she's going to wake up a lb heavier tomorrow. Hopefully she'll actually get some sleep tonight. Please please please! To give me some sanity!

Other than that, all is well here. Finally seems normal to have a baby :) We just love her so so much!!!

Week one and then some

1 week old

Well its official. Not only is our baby over 1 week old, but we have also survived 1 week at home on our own (well sort of). Having a baby has thrown our schedules to shame and stirred up a million different emotions. Whoever said this was easy (did anyone ever say that?), was wrong! 

Sleeplessness

Many moms and dads will tell you that having a child will allow you to realize how few hours of sleep you can function on. Boy is that right. Not only am I getting interrupted 1-3 hour chunks of sleep, but then when day time rolls around, and baby naps, I just can't get myself to sleep. I've never been a napper and I'm sort of wishing I was. Honestly, though- there have been a few rough nights, but for the most part, Riley will sleep for 1 to sometimes 4 hours at a time before fussing. And when I say fussing, its because she hasn't yet let out a huge scream to let us know she's awake. Its been quite tolerable. Don't get me wrong, I'm still tired and running on fumes, but I know we don't have it as bad as most. 

I can't get ANYTHING done!

I am so surprised at how quickly the days have been going by. I know the first few days Luke and I forgot to eat and all of the sudden we'd look at the clock and it'd be 2:00pm. A successful day now involves getting the baby ready, fed, and maybe accomplishing one household task. Today, we went for a walk, and felt pretty productive. Yesterday we visited some co-workers and went to JC Penny. Big day out! It does feel nice to get out of the house, because I'm already getting a little stir crazy, but its exhausting and requires a lot of preparation.

I am a slave to my breast feeding baby

So, people told me that breast feeding was challenging, and I've been lucky enough to have a cooperative baby (most of the time- the middle of the night is a different story), but boy is it time consuming. I feel like I am glued to the couch because this child is hunnnnggrryyy! During the night is about every 2 1/2-4 hours, during the day its more along the lines of 1 1/2-3 hours. A 1/3 hour-45 minutes a pop, that's a huge chunk of our days. Then there's coordinating visitors and outings around her irregular feeding schedule. I know a lot of people who aren't comfortable being around a woman nursing, so it makes it difficult at times. I did invest in a nursing cover, so that makes me a little bit more comfortable. 

Fear

I think the biggest challenge that I've dealt with this past week and 1/2 is the emotional side of things. Fear has pretty much taken over my life. I started with fearing labor and delivery, then it was fearing breast feeding, then it was fearing leaving the hospital, then the lack of sleep, now- I fear my husband going back to work. I've been lucky enough to have him with me for 2 weeks. He's been so helpful, is so good with Riley, and comforting me. We also have been able to establish some sort of normalcy in our lives together with this baby. Now he's going back to work and it'll be me alone trying to find "normal." Luke's left me alone a few times and I feel like I was too busy doing this or that to find time to go to the bathroom or feed myself. I assume it will get better. I haven't cried in 2 days so that's a start!

1 week check up

She's healthy! We visited the pediatrician on Monday and left feeling great. She has already gained all of her birth weight back. She was born at 6 lb 11 oz, left the hospital at 6 lb 6 oz, and on Monday, weighed in at 6lb 12 oz. He also said since she is gaining weight and has good color, we don't have to wake her in the night to feed her. For those longer stretches of sleep (lets hope there's many more of those) in the night, we can get a little bit more sleep. Developmentally, she's doing great. Holding her head up, responding to light, and her eyes follow us when we talk to her. She's doing great! I already feel like she's changing so, so much.

Newborn photos

My lovely friend Shari came over today with her gorgeous new camera and offered to take some pics of our little peanut, so here's a few of my faves! I'll post more later.